Do you every feel self conscious or watch every word because you’re afraid of how others will perceive you?
Do you get tongue-tied around certain people or during difficult conversation?
How about when your on a date or connecting with your lover or the significant people in your life?
“All people feel uncomfortable some of the time ,” says Relationship expert, Cheryl Lazarus, “and yet, there are some who seem ‘know how to do it.’ They’re charismatic and words just flow out of their mouths effortlessly.”
Think about it? Are there some people in your life that you love to be with? They listen, care and know how to connect? Do you ever wonder how you could do that more…be the “go to”person, feel more comfortable if you’re dating or when connecting in your relationships?
Here are 5 important tips to create better connections and to have more fun while your doing it.
* Stay present
Many people worry about how they will be perceived, what he or she will think about them or what they said. When this happens, you are in internal dialogue, absorbed in your own thoughts, rather than being present to the actual conversation. You may feel even worse when you realize that you broke the connection and may not even know what the person has been saying!
* Keep the attention on the other person, rather than on yourself
If encouraged, people love to share about themselves. So provide a space for that and ask questions. Be sure they are “open ended.” so that you can take the conversation deeper. After they answer you can say ” Tell me more about that.”
* Pause – take a breath
Give the other person an opportunity to speak.. When people are nervous, they tend to chatter or talk fast.. Or a person can be absorbed with themselves and forget to include the other person. Pausing allows someone else to jump in and carry the ball for awhile.
* Listen more
Listen more, talk less. You may even learn something new!
* Get off your own agenda
If you’re thinking about what to say next or can’t wait until the person finishes so that you can have your turn, then you are not in the conversation. Conversation flows best if you leave your own agenda at the door, and concentrate on the actual conversation that you are in. You can be more spontaneous that way, too.
If you follow even one of these tips it can change your conversation and create the connections that you desire. Try it and let me know what happens!
I’d love to here your comments, thoughts or questions and I’ll reply right back!
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To your relationship success!
This post was written by Cheryl Lazarus