Many of us have fears of intimacy as a result of events in our childhood or issues within our family. We then create behaviors that sabotage the very thing that we want which is love. . With awareness you have the opportunity to do something differently!
Janet is a woman in her 30’s, whose father left the family when she was 9. He had an affair, started a new family and was not as involved with her or her brother. This caused a lot of pain as she had been closer with her dad than with her mom.
In her current relationship with Jim, she’s afraid of become too vulnerable or close. Her deep seated belief is “He will leave.” So she does become too intimate, Janet gets scared. She withdraws, looks for something to criticize or provokes a fight. Jim then retreats, moves away. His own fears of intimacy are now setting in.
First, I helped her to heal the pain that is still left from childhood. Then we explored her behaviors and I provided her with new options for when she becomes scared. Janet is now able to choose. She can choose to provoke or she can choose the healthier options that she now has available.
Listen to this video to understand more about the roots of our fears of intimacy and how it shows up in our relationships.
If you would like to uncover your sabotaging behaviors so that you can create healthier ones, then sign up for your free 1/2 strategy phone session now! Click here
This post was written by Cheryl Lazarus