Years ago, my husband and I split up after a very long marriage. I spent time healing and then dated casually. Eventually I was ready for a relationship and met Steven, an attractive California guy. We began an exciting long distance relationship. I was in love and in lust!
One time out of three, Steven didn’t call when he said that he would or called an hour late without letting me know. As we were long distance, I considered our calls important and looked forward to them.
I didn’t discuss it with him because we only saw each other every 6 weeks and I didn’t want to make a ‘big deal’ out of it, at least that’s what I told myself at the time.
The ‘real truth’ is that I didn’t talk about it with him because I was afraid he’d leave or continue to do it anyway. I also felt like “I didn’t have a ‘right’ to say anything. My rocky marriage and our split up had taken it’s toll and my self worth had taken a ‘hit.’
After 7 months I got tired of this behavior and broke up with him. When I told him that one of the reasons is that he didn’t call when he said that he would, or called an hour late without notice he replied, “You never said anything so I figured I could get away with it.”
I sure learned some lessons there! I immediately trained in positive communication methods as well as did the inner work to shore up my self worth and confidence. So, listen up: we train our partners on how to treat us by what we accept and what we expect!
If you don’t like how you are being treated, then you can learn how to speak up and place more value on yourself. I’d be happy to show you how!
Cheryl Lazarus, CRC, CLC is a Love Coach and Relationship Expert. Be sure to sign up for your complementary coaching strategy session and explore your next steps in your love and relationship journey. Simply fill your name and email in the Strategy Session box on the right side and we will get started.
This post was written by Cheryl Lazarus